Miss Missy (that's fun to say) was the OT who did his eval and we are excited to say she will be his OT, too! At first she reccomended that we come every week, but after talking through schedules, etc... we decided that he would do just fine coming every other week- and that will help mommy keep some amount of sanity, juggling all his therapies, work, church, Isaac... etc, etc, etc...
So as of now we have Mondays free... Tuesdays is water therapy for Eli ... Wednesdays is physical therapy for Isaac and Eli both... Thursdays our TEIS teacher comes out to the house for 2 hours to work with both boys... and every other Friday Eli will have OT.
We will go for his ST evaluation later this month. Hopefully he won't need it more than every other week, and maybe we can go to that on the weeks we don't have OT... We'll see...
So, assuming he qualifies for ST... that will be 5 therapies... and based on his ST evaluation, if they decide he also needs Feeding Therapy... that would make 6. That kind of makes my head hurt, and makes me tired, just thinking about it. !!! But, I would do anything for Eli, to give him every chance possible to be the very best Eli that he can be. If you see me and I look tired, I probably am.
I'd be lying if I said I don't get frustrated at times about the way our life looks because of this preemie journey we are on. And it's true that sometimes Chris and I say to each other, "Do people with healthy babies realize how easy they have it...?!?!?" And we try to have sympathy for people around us who have "normal" baby struggles, sicknesses, issues, etc... but honestly, in our heads we are thinking, "That sounds like a walk in the park to us!" Satan definitely wants me to have a bitter heart and attitude over that... but I don't want to let him win that battle, so I try everyday to just focus on how blessed we have been because of this journey we are on. The amazing people we have met, the love we have received, the lessons we have learned, and the way our hearts have been changed.
The paragraph below is from another mom's blog who is struggling through the journey of her daughter's heart defects and numerous surgeries as an infant and toddler... It was very encouraging for me to read the way she feels blessed from their circumstances... and be reminded of the many, many blessings that we, too, have received through our journey.
"We won't ever be the same people that we were before we had any knowledge of Noah growing inside of me, but we wouldn't trade the joy or the pain we've found in this journey. Without the sorrow and uncertainty, we couldn't have learned or experienced the profound joy and confidence that we have. No question, Noah is a joy. Absolutely. She, however, is not all that we've received in this process. We have learned to love more deeply and have received love in a deeper way than we had before from friends, family and God. We don't understand prayer any more than before, but are humbled because we know that God hears and acts on what people say to him. We have learned to hold things loosely and enjoy them while we can. As it pertains to people, love them while we can and love them well. There is a profound freedom in it! We know that we can be thankful in ALL things- God is always at work. There is always enough- time, energy, money, people. God doesn't withhold from us, but gives us what is best. We have experienced these truths time and again. "
Honestly, I don't have to think more than a second and realize I have nothing to complain about or feel bitter about. At the end of the day, I have exactly what I begged God for... two little boys, at home with us, that we get to love and laugh with everyday. What more could I ask for? Over the past 2 years that we've been on this journey with our boys, we have met many other families who would gladly trade places with us. They are families who lost one of their twins. Families who lost their only child. Families who's preemies survived, but are facing much harder days ahead than us and either of our boys. Families who are still patiently waiting on a positive pregnancy test.
When I stop to think about that hard reality, I am very, very humbled and usually brought to tears. Those families would gladly tote their child they lost to every therapy known to man. Just the same as I at times think, "Are you kidding me? You have no idea how easy you have it...!!!" when I listen to moms with "normal" babies complain... There are plenty of families who probably have listened (or read... or overheard) me complain about our journey, who wish I would put a cork in it and open my eyes to the blessings that surround me.
If you've hung on to this post for this long... thank you for letting me share my heart. I definitely do not pretend to have our journey, other's journeys, or this life all figured out... I am taking it one day at a time with God's gracious help. I just strive to honestly share our journey in hopes that it encourages someone else who may come across our blog. To help someone else who's struggling not feel alone.
So for today, I am choosing to be thankful... instead of bitter or overwhelmed. That's pretty easy to do when I look at this picture...
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
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