2011, A New Year

2010 is over.  What a year!  (The following is a small reflection of my 2010...)

I got pregnant...Whoopsie! (ok, that was 2009, but still...)

Found out it was TWINS!  OH MY!  (again, really in 2009...)

One of them is sick... (What a great start to 2010... ugh...)

Decide to deliver them both early...

Boys are born!!!  Welcome to the world 2 lb Isaac Franklin and 1 lb Eli Merritt!

5 month NICU roller coaster!!!...!!!...!!!...!!!...!!!

Boys come home June 1st and July 1st!!!  Praise the Lord!

Figuring out life with twins one feeding or diaper change at a time...

Managing usually multiple doctor appointments each week...  (Only missed 1, and showed up for 1 that we didn't actually have...)

Still trying to figure out how to be a mommy to 2 babies at once.  Sometimes it's really easy.  Sometimes not so much...

Chris and I have been talking the past couple of days about the past year, and we have trouble really summing it up or putting it into words.  Sometimes I am tempted to say things like, "Ugh, Goodbye 2010.  You were awful.  Worst. Year. Ever."  But I can't really let myself think that or feel that way, because when it's all said and done, I have exactly what I begged God for at times (and more, really).  2 little boys.  They are alive.  Getting healthier everyday.  (And there is light at the end of the tunnel... now we even get to venture out into the regular, real world sometimes!  Like normal families!)

I can't lie.  Most of 2010 was very, very stressful for us.  Really.  I mean it started out with finding out that "something is wrong with Baby B, and that he might not make it."  Like I said, not the best start to a new year...

And here we are a year later.  Here's that sweet "Baby B" just a few days ago (pictured below), with that sweet smile of his that just melts my heart and fills me with joy every time I see it.  And you should hear him giggle!  Eli has given us many scares in 2010.  As I've shared before, we were told "He's very sick.  We don't know what else to do for him...." during his 5 months in the NICU.  I was usually pretty strong while I was in the NICU visiting him and Isaac, but then I would usually cry the entire way home after leaving him.  Sometimes I was literally begging God, "Please, don't take him.  Please heal my baby."  Those were the only words I could muster, and I just repeated them countless times.  And sometimes I didn't know if that was God's plan, so I tried to prepare myself that maybe God was going to take him to heaven.  I tried to be really brave and tell myself, "It would be okay, that would be the very best place, because Eli would be with God."  I tried to tell God I would be ok if that's what His plan was.  I didn't know what was going to happen...  And here we are, we made it through that year... thanks to God's strength and patience He's given us.  Everything we've been through, and are going through, and may go through with him... none of it matters.  Here we are starting 2011... He's alive, and I get to love him everyday.  That's all that matters.
 

And here is his precious, silly brother.  The baby that sacrificed a 3rd trimester in a safe, warm womb, to enter the world 3 months early... because mommy and daddy said, "We need to try to save your brother."  Our prayer for Isaac a year ago was that he wouldn't suffer from having to be born early.  He had his share of bumps during his 4 months in the NICU, but, when we tell people today that he weighed a little over 2 lbs at birth and spent 4 months in the NICU, they don't believe us.  He's "graduated" from all the doctor's and clinics that originally wanted to follow him.  He's healthy.  He doesn't need to be seen or checked by them.  What a blessing!  That is an answered prayer, right in my face!  He weighs over 21 lbs and has an even bigger personality!  Isaac loves life and everyone he meets, and is just happy to be here!  Do you need a smile, cause Isaac's got one for you!

God said "yes" to our prayers of 2010.  I want to live a life that says, "thank you."  My blessings far outweigh my pain, and my joy far out measures my sorrow.  It sounds cliche I know, but we are truly blessed more than we deserve.  Sometimes I struggle with why God seems to have said, "yes" to us, and others it seems He's saying "no" or "not in the way you are asking."  There are many others all around me who had much rougher years than we did.  I wish I could take away their pain.  But I know from my own pain I've experienced, that you can't take it away.  But bringing food, and just little reminders to say, "I'm thinking about you and I love you" can help.  So I hope to do that for others in need this year... like it was done countless times for us in 2010.

So in conclusion, Chris and I decided that 2010 was the hardest, best year of our lives.  We are more compassionate people for having gone through it.  And we have two of the cutest little guys around to show for it :).  Praise God!

My prayer for you for 2011:

Ephesians 3: 16-21:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. "

Boys' 1st Christmas

We had a great first Christmas with the boys, of course!  We spent Christmas Eve with my family and stayed the night at my parents' house.  Then woke up and went to Murfreesboro to be with Chris' family on Christmas Day.  Sadly, we didn't get to take the boys with us to Chris' family gathering, because they were both seeming "under-the-weather" with a cold we'd all passed around to each other that week.  So they spent the day with "Didi and Poppo" and Chris and I went to the Gannon Family Christmas sans twins :(.

Despite our attempts to tell family to not buy the boys anything because they are too young to even understand the concept of gifts and holidays anyway... they received piles of toys and clothes!

I am learning that I'm not such a great photographer in the sense that I don't do well with actually taking pictures...  I want to really be in the moment and see with my own eyes, not through the camera.  And I want to hold, and tickle, and play with my boys... not have my hands occupied with a camera.  But, then when I go back and look through my pictures a few days later, I'm always upset I didn't take more.  I just need a personal photographer to accompany us at special occasions...  But anyway, I did manage to get a few pics, which I will of course share with you below, so you can share in some of our excitement. 

Poppo reading Charlie Brown's Christmas to Isaac:

My brother bought the boys stuffed rats from IKEA.  Gross!  But the boys loved them of course! 

Eli going through his stocking, showing you his new Snoopy plate...

Eli with his laughing monkey from Poppo:

Eli and Charlie Brown...  (By now you've probably figured out we had a thing for the Peanuts this Christmas... We can't help it... Our sweet little Eli kinda looks like Charlie Brown to us!  But I don't think Charlie Brown ever had a cool blue helmet...)

Eli and Poppo...  Opening so many presents can make a little guy sleepy!

 Didi and Cowboy Isaac...

Boys and some of their STUFF!  Oh my!

Isaac, ready for Christmas Eve dinner...

Isaac loved his new Santa cup!  He was just wondering where the milk was...

"Ralphie!"  We heard many times this Christmas season how much Isaac looks like Ralphie from A Christmas Story.  We couldn't resist putting some of Poppo's glasses on him for a picture!  Too funny!  Here he is eating one of the wise men from the Fisher Price Nativity sceen my mom bought them...

We hope each of you had a wonderful holiday season as well!  Now I'm off to clean out their closet to make room for the new stuff... and find a new, bigger toy box to hold all their new toys!  (And their 1st Birthday is just around the corner!  OH MY!)

Mom and Dad 2010

I used Shutterfly to make my mom and dad's Christmas card for them, too.  This is a sneek peek of the front of it.  (Who else did you expect them to put on their card this year?)  :)

Holiday Love Sketch Christmas 5x7 folded card

Shop Shutterfly.com for elegant Christmas photo cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Thanksgiving 2010

So I realize this post could be viewed as being a little late, since Thanksgiving has passed... and that some of you might have been expecting a big "WE ARE SO THANKFUL THIS YEAR" post from me... because obviously, we have A LOT to be thankful for.

Of course I thought a lot about doing a post about being thankful right before, or on, Thanksgiving Day... but really, every time I sat down to do it (and even now) it just overwhelmed me. How could I possibly put into words how thankful I am right now? I am literally overwhelmed and humbled with thankfulness, because of all the ways people have blessed us this year. Honestly, everyday, I look at my boys many, many times a day and think to myself, "I am so blessed." I hope that never fades.

It was last Thanksgiving that we surprised our families with little 2-layered cakes... the color of each layer representing the sex of each twin. It was so fun to make each family member write down their prediction, and then see their reactions to 2 BLUE layers in the cake :). Pictured here are the guesses from Chris' family:

Thinking back to that time in life, we were so excited about having twins, and twin boys at that! Chris and I would have truly been so happy with whatever God blessed us with... but truth be told, we both wanted boys :). (Now we both want some girls to add to the mix... eventually... NO time soon...)

This time last year, was just before all the scares with "Baby B" (Eli) started happening. We had NO CLUE the journey we were about to find ourselves on. NO CLUE. Our biggest worry was just, "How in the world are we going to afford 2 of everything?" (Family, friends, church family took care of that worry... we have enough stuff as if we'd had 4 boys! I love how the Lord uses people's generous hearts to provide for us and help us feel loved.)

Just a few weeks later, we really started to know what real worries are all about. And those days and nights of worry and fear drug on for about 6 months. Not to say that they are totally over now. But I am so thankful to say that I think "the worst is over." I actually took the boys to a nursing home in Huntsville, AL, to meet their great-grandma for the 1st time the day before Thanksgiving; and a very sweet woman who had to be all of 90 yrs old, or more, who was a resident at the home, wheeled over to see the boys. After seeing them and hearing about their story, she said, "We'll honey, the worst is over," as she wheeled away. I really hope that was God speaking through her to tell me that...

So to be brief (which I'm not good at), I am just thankful for making it through the last year. I am thankful my boys are alive. The phrase, "I'm just happy to be here..." pretty much sums us up. I am thankful I married someone who loves me and those boys more than anything in the world and is happy to go through everyday life with me- he is SUCH a good Daddy! I am thankful I have parents who are thrilled about being grandparents, and are constantly showing their love to me, Chris, and the boys. I am thankful for a very special group of doctor's and nurses who took us by the hand and guided us through 5 very long months of the NICU world. And mostly, I am thankful for my relationship with my God who proves to me to over and over that I am not alone, that He is with me always, and provides for my every need.

Enjoy the pictures of my 3 favorite boys from our family Thanksgiving celebrations:

And remember you don't just have to wait for Thanksgiving to be thankful.

Boys' 1st Sunday at Church

For the first 10 months (almost) of the boys' lives... they've been in the NICU, or "homebound," unless they had a doctor appointment. The reasoning behind this was to keep them away from as many germs as possible.

At their 9 month check-up visit, I asked their doctor how much longer he thought we would be "homebound," and what we should do with all the upcoming holiday events, where there will be lots of people around. He said it was ok to attend family events, but that for the most part we would need to have the boys in a room away from the crowd. That, to me, almost makes it pointless to attend the family event... if you can't even really spend time with your family... I mean, I can sit at my own home in a room alone with my children... Usually my dad's side of the family comes to my parents' home for Thanksgiving Day lunch (about 20 people), but this year mom and dad (DiDi and Poppo) canceled, because they didn't want Chris and I, and boys to miss out. So it was just my immediate family. But I felt bad that we had to miss out on a year of our normal tradition.

Ok, back to church (since that's what this post is supposed to be about)... We also asked him about taking them to church. He told us this was fine as long as we get there a few min late, and leave a few min early. Basically so no one has a chance to touch them. Haha! And he made me look him in the eye and practically sign my name in blood that I wouldn't let anyone hold them except for Chris or myself.

This is not exactly an easy task to accomplish- not letting people in your church family touch or hold your children who they've never even met, who are almost 10 months old, and they have truly been praying for them since before they were born. Not to forget all the cooking for our family, that is still going on... These people have given us clothes, diapers, wipes, bibs, shoes, car seats, bottles, diaper bags, highchairs, strollers, books, toys, and just about everything else we own for them... I wanted to ask our doctor if he would come with us to church and be the one to tell all these sweet people, especially the older ladies, "I'm sorry, but please don't touch the babies..." I'm too worried about hurting someone's feelings. Chris on the other hand says, "Shoot, I don't care. I'll tell 'em..."

It ended up being pretty easy to keep the babies away from other's germs, because one of our ministers made an announcement last week, saying something along the lines of, "Bekah and the boys will be here next week. Please don't touch them." It was pretty funny because most people would run over to us to see them, and then stop about 3 ft in front of us, remembering that they weren't supposed to touch us. Haha!

Anyway, it was a successful hour. The boys were great. Slept through most of the service, or quietly played. Isaac was so enamored with all the lights and voices, which kept him occupied mostly. Eli was a little angel in his infant carrier, sleeping most of the time, or playing with his paci.

Here's some pictures of them, in their "church clothes," purchased by DiDi, of course ;) Wish I could EVER get them to both give me a big smile in the SAME picture... Oh well!

50 Free Holiday Cards from Shutterfly

It’s that time of year- Christmas Card time! Don’t you love getting them? I do… We normally display them on our fridge… but this year I have a special wall holder for them (thanks to a gift from my mom…)

While looking around on various websites for Christmas card options for this year... I came across 2 friends' blogs who posted about Shutterfly giving away 50 holiday cards to bloggers... just for blogging about it! This was great news to me, seeing as how I already had my eye on a few of their designs for our card this year! A friend of our’s has offered to take Christmas pics of the boys, and once he does, I’ll hop on Shutterfly to pick out our card.

They've got TONS of options, and lots of cute choices! I'm always wondering, when making purchases online, how something will actually look when it arrives... "Will I really like it, or will I be disappointed?" Well, today I actually saw these products live and in person at the mall (they were on display where you line up to get your picture made with Santa), and I thought they looked great! We used them last year for our Christmas card, announcing that we were having twin boys!

And, they’ve got some other great things for gift ideas, too… Calendars, photobooks… See the links below for card and gift ideas:

• Christmas photo cards to http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards

• calendars for 2011 http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars

• holiday cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards

• holiday photo cards http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery


And here’s the link to the details about how to get the 50 FREE CARDS: (Thanks Shutterfly!)

http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/

(No, neither of the ones pictured here are our card, just a few samples from the website to spark your interest... Did it work?)

Happy Card Shopping :)

11/17 National Prematurity Awareness Day

Just about 9 1/2 months ago, two very sweet little boys were born... too early. They were brought into the world at 27 weeks and 3 days... all in an effort to save Eli who was sick in the womb.

When we made the choice to deliver early, we were told that we could possibly end up loosing both babies, due to complications of such an early birth. But we were also given the hope that they both could survive. Everything was very uncertain and we were scared.

We prayed and hoped to be blessed with 2 baby boys when all was said and done.

Isaac Franklin was born on 2.2.10 at 2:14, weighing in at 2lbs 4 oz, 12 3/4 in.


Eli Merritt was born on 2.2.10 at 2:15, weighing in at 1lb 3 oz, 11in.


Isaac spent 4 months in the NICU, enduring multiple infections, intubations, and surgeries.

Eli spent 5 months in the NICU, enduring multiple infections, broken bones, intubations, and surgeries.

Both boys are home with us now... something we try to not take for granted, because we weren't always certain we'd get to bring them both home.

For the most part, life is good. And we are very blessed. But there are also some complications that come with being born at 27 weeks, some of which are even yet to be seen.

Tonight, as I sit here typing this, after having rocked and kissed both of my boys... I can't help but think of families out there who didn't get to bring their baby home from the NICU... the families who had to say goodbye too soon to a baby that they had many hopes, wishes, and dreams for. The mommies who's hearts are aching, and the daddies who's dreams feel crushed.

I am also very mindful of all the families who still have babies fighting for their lives in the NICU. That is a very hard place to be in life. All you want is for your baby to be ok, healthy. And some days, you just don't know if that will ever happen. For the mommies who are still waiting to hold and feed their babies for the first time, I'm thinking of you. For the daddies who are still waiting to carry their little boy or girl into their home, into their bedroom that has been prepared especially for them... I'm thinking of you. And hoping that day comes soon. I know what that waiting feels like. It's the worst kind of wait I've ever experienced.

Holding Isaac for the first time. He was a few days old, but I only got to hold him up in my hands for a few short seconds while the nurse changed his bedding. It was over a month before I ever really got to hold him.


Holding Eli for the first time. Waited almost 2 months before I held him.


So I guess that's what I'm choosing to be aware of on this National Prematurity Awareness Day- the parents of preemies. My heart and prayers are with you today! May you feel loved and supported. May you see hope on your journey. May you know you are not alone.